Where NOT to go to pass the time

A collective sigh of relief goes up across the world this week, as, after several weeks of captivity, parents are finally being set free. Yes, school holidays have once again come to an end, and children everywhere are gathering up their pencil cases and musty lunch bags and being packed off back to their classrooms.

Going to hell in a breadbasket

Who doesn’t love to eat out. The joy of someone else having to decide what to cook and clearing up the mess at the end of the meal. The perfect chance to order something that you wouldn’t normally eat – dishes you don’t have a clue how to cook and ingredients you wouldn’t even recognise in the supermarket. A valid reason to eat off a table instead of a tray, and the opportunity to actually hold a conversation, instead of woofing down your food in front of the TV.

Couldn’t have said it better myself

Living in Perth, you really have to wonder about some of the people here. Do they have a warped sense of humour, or are they just incredibly thick? I’m talking number plates here, and some of stupid things people choose to have stuck on the front of their cars. I’ve already listed some of the more ‘interesting’ plates that I’ve seen before, but below are a couple that really stood out from the crowd.

How NOT to stop kids having sex

I haven’t had much time to write recently – work and migraines have been getting in the way – but today I saw a headline flash past my eyes and I had to have my say. So what caught my attention? Condom’s for 12-year-old boys, that’s what. Yes, you read right. 12-year-old boys.

How to fly round the world and survive

Normally the worst thing about a holiday is when it comes to an end. But when you have to fly all the way back around the world just to arrive at your own front door, it’s even worse. A healthy dose of jet lag is enough to make you look and feel like you’ve never even been away.

Demon children and saintly spoodles

Taking your child away on holiday can sometimes be a very dangerous thing to do. In only a few short weeks they can morph into a human being barely recognisable from the one you once knew. As routine, balanced diet and consistency goes out the window, everything you ever taught them seems to follow, including good manners, eating habits and general all round intelligence.

Don’t lie to me

Any parent worth their weight in low sodium salt would probably agree that children should be brought knowing it’s wrong to lie. Especially to their parents. But teaching this particular right from wrong can be tricky, especially when trying to push the message home to your child often entails telling a whole range of elaborate and complicated lies to begin with.

Taxing the fat to pay the thin

So, finally a doctor in the UK has been brave enough to speak out and voice what many people already think – that instead of pandering to the needs of the morbidly and super morbidly obese with free mobility scooters and Disability Living Allowance, they should be made to contribute towards the massive strain they are placing on the health system, by paying more tax. And in turn, those who work hard to remain fit and healthy should be financially rewarded for their effort.

There’s no such place as perfection

Lots of people want to know, what’s life in Perth really like? Is it all blue skies, suntan cream and sandy beaches? Is everyone as ‘happy as Bruce’ and do the kangaroos all smile and wave you on your way as you speed off to work your 5 hour day? In a word, and a very short one at that, NO.

Why Perth will never equal Paris

Paris, NY, London and Milan – the fashion capitals of the world. Exciting hubs of cutting edge design and stylish good taste. Where the beautiful flock to see and be seen, and designers fight to outdo each other, sending one unwearable outfit after another down the catwalk. Perth on the other hand – not so much a hub as a gaping hole.