Sign your name across my skin

I’ve never really got the fascination with tattoos. It seems to me a very extreme (and permanent) way of expressing how you’re feeling at that exact moment, but doesn’t really take into account how you might feel in years to come. After all, over the course of a lifetime names come and go, ideas and trends change and something that might be considered cute and girly at 18 will probably look downright stupid at 50.

Shut up and push

Here are some recent ramblings of an enlightened male, that will no doubt make mothers everywhere grind their teeth in annoyance.
According to Michael Odent – a medical expert and ‘childbirth specialist’ – fathers-to-be should no longer be present at the birth of their children, and should be banned from the delivery room.

Don’t lie to me

Any parent worth their weight in low sodium salt would probably agree that children should be brought knowing it’s wrong to lie. Especially to their parents. But teaching this particular right from wrong can be tricky, especially when trying to push the message home to your child often entails telling a whole range of elaborate and complicated lies to begin with.

When smelly children need surgery

The first clue that something was where it shouldn’t be was that my son smelt horrible, with a nasty whiff about his person that would come and go. The type of odour that simply refused to budge, even with much vigorous washing and twice daily teeth brushing. It’s hard to say exactly what the smell was even, somewhere between sour milk and a rotting vegetable perhaps. Fairly unpleasant in other words…

The madness of OAP mums

Take Elizabeth Adeny for example, who at 66 is set to become the oldest mum in the UK. This lady, who is by all accounts a ‘wealthy divorcee businesswoman’, has obviously decided that she wants to have her slab of baby shaped cake and eat it.

Damn that fairy

Everyone knows that asking a mother what sort of diet their child has is paramount to calling them hopeless, useless and completely irresponsible….

Hot, hairy and bothered

This morning I inflicted the most terrible trauma on my unsuspecting 2 year old. He was coaxed, totally unaware into the shopping mall and then lured through the barbers door, using an apple scroll (lovely cake from Bakers Delight) as bait. Poor little thing, he didn’t stand a chance…

Day care dilemmas

Earlier in the year, after agonising about whether cutting the apron strings would really stunt my son’s future development and catapult him into therapy, I decided to bite the bullet, put him into nursery for a few days every week and get back to work…

Barking mad

Now I like to think I’m not a particularly aggressive person by nature, I rarely bark and have never been known to bite, well not hard enough to break the skin at any rate. My husband isn’t an aggressive person either (except when massacring our dinner), but yesterday we both found ourselves catapulted head first into a full throttle screaming match with a complete stranger, right in the middle of the park….

Mary Poppins has nothin on me

I have to admit that try as I might to keep my handbag and it’s contents streamline and minimalist, it always seems to remain something of a bottomless pit. A black hole of the accessories world if you will, one with the spacial dimensions of a tardis….