Diary of a Pom in Western Australia

August 31 – Just got transferred with work from Leeds UK to our new home in Karratha, Western Australia. Now this is a town that knows how to live!
Beautiful, sunny days and warm, balmy evenings. I watched the sunset from a deckchair by our pool yesterday. It was beautiful. I’ve finally found my new home. I love it here.

What every teacher would love to say

Now for all those parents, pupils (past and present) and frustrated teachers out there, here’s a school answering machine message to really make you laugh.

Something to make you laugh

Couldn’t resist adding this joke I was sent.

It reminded me of our trip to London last December. We decided to walk past Downing Street could have a look through the gates. I told her that was the house our Prime Minister lived in, but that with a bit of luck, he’d be moving out very soon. One of the policemen at the gate heard what I said and smiled. His response was “Indeed he will, with a bit of luck!”

Going to hell in a breadbasket

Who doesn’t love to eat out. The joy of someone else having to decide what to cook and clearing up the mess at the end of the meal. The perfect chance to order something that you wouldn’t normally eat – dishes you don’t have a clue how to cook and ingredients you wouldn’t even recognise in the supermarket. A valid reason to eat off a table instead of a tray, and the opportunity to actually hold a conversation, instead of woofing down your food in front of the TV.

Couldn’t have said it better myself

Living in Perth, you really have to wonder about some of the people here. Do they have a warped sense of humour, or are they just incredibly thick? I’m talking number plates here, and some of stupid things people choose to have stuck on the front of their cars. I’ve already listed some of the more ‘interesting’ plates that I’ve seen before, but below are a couple that really stood out from the crowd.

How to be a BAD parent

Like I’ve said before, it’s very hard to know how you measure up as a parent, and how badly your child rearing techniques are going to scar them life. Then you see pictures like these, and you think phew, at least I’m doing a lot better than some.

Don’t lie to me

Any parent worth their weight in low sodium salt would probably agree that children should be brought knowing it’s wrong to lie. Especially to their parents. But teaching this particular right from wrong can be tricky, especially when trying to push the message home to your child often entails telling a whole range of elaborate and complicated lies to begin with.

Why Perth will never equal Paris

Paris, NY, London and Milan – the fashion capitals of the world. Exciting hubs of cutting edge design and stylish good taste. Where the beautiful flock to see and be seen, and designers fight to outdo each other, sending one unwearable outfit after another down the catwalk. Perth on the other hand – not so much a hub as a gaping hole.

Dam those pesky beavers

The following made me laugh as I read it. Summing up the sort of monkeys who run our governments, here is an actual letter (and his reply) sent to a man named Ryan DeVries, by the Michigan Department of Environmental Quality, State of Michigan.

When smelly children need surgery

The first clue that something was where it shouldn’t be was that my son smelt horrible, with a nasty whiff about his person that would come and go. The type of odour that simply refused to budge, even with much vigorous washing and twice daily teeth brushing. It’s hard to say exactly what the smell was even, somewhere between sour milk and a rotting vegetable perhaps. Fairly unpleasant in other words…

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