How to be a BAD parent

Like I’ve said before, it’s very hard to know how you measure up as a parent, and how badly your child rearing techniques are going to scar them life. Then you see pictures like these, and you think phew, at least I’m doing a lot better than some.

Don’t lie to me

Any parent worth their weight in low sodium salt would probably agree that children should be brought knowing it’s wrong to lie. Especially to their parents. But teaching this particular right from wrong can be tricky, especially when trying to push the message home to your child often entails telling a whole range of elaborate and complicated lies to begin with.

Is it possible to parent without Prozac?

I’ve often wondered, what makes a good mother? And if I were to be marked out of 10, what would I get? I mean these days are you considered a maternal goddess simply because you manage to keep your offspring alive, fed and watered till they’re 18, or is there more to it than just ensuring the survival of the young?

Planes, trains & watery accidents

It’s always hard to know how your children will react to leaving the ground in a vacuum packed can, and then see the ground disappear beneath the clouds. My son wasn’t amused. At all. Watching the aeroplanes through the terminal window – great fun. Walking down the air-slip onto the plane – not so fun. Sitting in his seat for take off – simply not going to happen.

So what does he call out in a desperate bid for freedom? “Poo Mummy”.

The madness of OAP mums

Take Elizabeth Adeny for example, who at 66 is set to become the oldest mum in the UK. This lady, who is by all accounts a ‘wealthy divorcee businesswoman’, has obviously decided that she wants to have her slab of baby shaped cake and eat it.

The JOY of marriage & the REALITY of divorce

Marriage is without doubt an incredibly tough nut to crack. If you choose well, listen to your mother and marry your perfect match it can be the best thing sinceGoogle . But even if you choose well, listen to your mother and marry your perfect match, marriage can still push all your buttons and drive you up the wall, make you question your judgement, and sometimes render you completely insane.

An email from President Obama

This morning, as I do every morning, I sat at my desk, opened my email and waited to see what tripe flowed into my inbox….But this morning threw up something a little bit unexpected. An email from the most powerful man on the planet – President Barack Obama himself.

When BIG really isn’t beautiful

Some people might have thought that my previous post about parents murdering their kids was a little extreme. And then a story popped up on the news that backed up everything I had said.

Love Thy Neighbour

There are some boys on our street who make me wish that using an air riffle was legal. They wander around, swearing at the tops of their voices and generally going out of their way to irritate, provoke or pick fights with everyone who gets in their way. Feral, is the only word that can describe them…

Fighting Flies

Having spent the entire day armed with an aerosol can and stalking flies around the house like a mad woman with a nervous tick, I have decided that enough is enough. Having already lost the last 3 months of my life to the debilitating effects of vertigo, there is no way on God’s earth that I am now going to put up with a constant buzzing in my ear that I can do something about…