A Pom returns: the reality of life after Australia

This is a one blog I’ve been meaning to write since we packed up our thongs, Aussie born pooch and 20 foot container of ‘stuff’ and waved one last goodbye to Down Under. I always meant to give an update on Life After Perth, but to make certain my rose-tinted ‘happy to be home’ goggles were now a more realistic hue of clear, and to ward off all accusations of still being drunk on rolling green hills and Tesco prices, I thought I’d give it a respectable 6 months before giving a verdict.

Diary of a Pom in Western Australia

August 31 – Just got transferred with work from Leeds UK to our new home in Karratha, Western Australia. Now this is a town that knows how to live!
Beautiful, sunny days and warm, balmy evenings. I watched the sunset from a deckchair by our pool yesterday. It was beautiful. I’ve finally found my new home. I love it here.

Run Spoodle Run

Charlie – that’s our Spoodle – is a dog that simply refuses to do things by the canine rulebook. All in all he’s a complete nutter who acts like a shadow, snaps at the air, barks at the boiler and escapes from the front door if ever the opportunity presents itself.

Why we moan and what we love

Some things are just so ingrained into the British way of doing things it really wouldn’t be stretching any sort of imagination to think they’re actually part of our DNA.

Come fly those pricey skies

Strange question perhaps, but have you ever wondered what a cup of wee goes for on the open market? Or, to put it another way, exactly what the cost of urine is per fl oz?

Ready. Steady. Pack

So why, when I’m fully aware that the combination of packing boxes, shipping companies and small children make for newly formed wrinkled, do I keep on getting itchy feet?

Where NOT to go to pass the time

A collective sigh of relief goes up across the world this week, as, after several weeks of captivity, parents are finally being set free. Yes, school holidays have once again come to an end, and children everywhere are gathering up their pencil cases and musty lunch bags and being packed off back to their classrooms.

Going to hell in a breadbasket

Who doesn’t love to eat out. The joy of someone else having to decide what to cook and clearing up the mess at the end of the meal. The perfect chance to order something that you wouldn’t normally eat – dishes you don’t have a clue how to cook and ingredients you wouldn’t even recognise in the supermarket. A valid reason to eat off a table instead of a tray, and the opportunity to actually hold a conversation, instead of woofing down your food in front of the TV.

‘Courtesy’ my arse

The last time I looked in a dictionary, the word ‘courtesy’ meant to provide something out of generosity – a polite gesture. Preferably free of charge. The word doesn’t mean to fleece a stranded customer and then, to add insult to injury, try to charge them $13 more than the local car rental company would.

Raining Cats, Dogs and Maltesers

Yesterday Mother Nature wasn’t very happy. In fact, I’d go as far as to say she was pretty pissed off. If I was a guy I’d probably say it was a case of PMT, but I’m not, so I’ll just hazard a guess and say she was having one hell of a bad hair day.