For richer for poorer, till death do us part

Like most people I suspect, the two things that I fear the most are the loss of my children and my husband – losing either would turn my world upside down. The very idea of some terrible happening to my family is something that doesn’t even bear thinking about. Yet I do. Probably far more than is considered rational or even remotely healthy.

There’s no such place as perfection

Lots of people want to know, what’s life in Perth really like? Is it all blue skies, suntan cream and sandy beaches? Is everyone as ‘happy as Bruce’ and do the kangaroos all smile and wave you on your way as you speed off to work your 5 hour day? In a word, and a very short one at that, NO.

Why Perth will never equal Paris

Paris, NY, London and Milan – the fashion capitals of the world. Exciting hubs of cutting edge design and stylish good taste. Where the beautiful flock to see and be seen, and designers fight to outdo each other, sending one unwearable outfit after another down the catwalk. Perth on the other hand – not so much a hub as a gaping hole.

Educational rubbish

I cleared out our mailbox earlier, and as usual, there was a good half a tree trunk of junk mail in there. The usual stuff. All of which went straight into the bin. The recycling bin that is.

Reality strikes, and it’s pretty dumb

But oh my God, most of the vain little prima donnas on the shows apparently fell right out of the nearest stupid tree, hitting each and every branch on the way down.

Planes, trains & watery accidents

It’s always hard to know how your children will react to leaving the ground in a vacuum packed can, and then see the ground disappear beneath the clouds. My son wasn’t amused. At all. Watching the aeroplanes through the terminal window – great fun. Walking down the air-slip onto the plane – not so fun. Sitting in his seat for take off – simply not going to happen.

So what does he call out in a desperate bid for freedom? “Poo Mummy”.

A spot of colonic – doggy style

Now no one ever said being a dog owner was a glamorous affair, but even I didn’t envisage the day I would find myself out in the garden at night, giving Charlie a colonic.

I’m sniffing, I must have Swine Flu

Call me completely irresponsible, but my daughter needs to learn and I need to work, so she’s not camping out in front of the TV all winter with a box of tissues. She’s had a flu jub and can wear a face mask if need be. So unless she suddenly grows a curly tail and starts to squeal, she is going to keep going to school.

Aussie Weather Forecasting

It was April, and the Aboriginals in a remote part of Northern Australia asked their new elder if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild.

Another Shark Attack in Perth

On Saturday (9th May) a 35 year-old man had a very lucky escape when he came nose to nose with a 4.5 m pointer (great white), and survived to live another day.