Crimefighting 101

In the papers this week were two stories, which when read side by side, demonstrated that the world of law and order has indeed gone stark raving bonkers, and Mr Common Sense has obviously packed up his bags and left the UK.

Taxing the fat to pay the thin

So, finally a doctor in the UK has been brave enough to speak out and voice what many people already think – that instead of pandering to the needs of the morbidly and super morbidly obese with free mobility scooters and Disability Living Allowance, they should be made to contribute towards the massive strain they are placing on the health system, by paying more tax. And in turn, those who work hard to remain fit and healthy should be financially rewarded for their effort.

There’s no such place as perfection

Lots of people want to know, what’s life in Perth really like? Is it all blue skies, suntan cream and sandy beaches? Is everyone as ‘happy as Bruce’ and do the kangaroos all smile and wave you on your way as you speed off to work your 5 hour day? In a word, and a very short one at that, NO.

How to make money disappear

The world is recovering from a credit crunch, UK debt has hit £801billion, unemployment is up and morale is down. So what do the Royal Society deem to be a wise and worthwhile invention to benefit from their generous grant of £100,00? Why an invisibility cloak of course.How very useful.

How to beat unemployment

According to the paper I’ve just finished reading, the UK is currently overrun with fresh-faced school leavers, all clutching their 9 A* A-Level results and having to fight with 50 other over qualified graduates for the chance to work on the tills of Primark.

Drunk Aussie booted out of UK

So Andrew Symonds, the Australian cricketer best known (aside from his skills with a bat and ball) for sporting rather dirty looking dreads and white lipstick has been sent home from the UK in disgrace.

Who has the most talent?

Stop the press, hold the headlines, refresh your browsers. Susan Boyle wasn’t crowned the ‘Britains Got Talent’ winner after all.

I’m sniffing, I must have Swine Flu

Call me completely irresponsible, but my daughter needs to learn and I need to work, so she’s not camping out in front of the TV all winter with a box of tissues. She’s had a flu jub and can wear a face mask if need be. So unless she suddenly grows a curly tail and starts to squeal, she is going to keep going to school.

The madness of OAP mums

Take Elizabeth Adeny for example, who at 66 is set to become the oldest mum in the UK. This lady, who is by all accounts a ‘wealthy divorcee businesswoman’, has obviously decided that she wants to have her slab of baby shaped cake and eat it.

When BIG really isn’t beautiful

Some people might have thought that my previous post about parents murdering their kids was a little extreme. And then a story popped up on the news that backed up everything I had said.