For those from the planet Mars

Just to show that I am a fair and unbiased writer I thought I would add these ‘rules for men’ that I was sent, to go hand in hand with those that I previously put up for the ladies

Of course this doesn’t mean that I agree with them. Some of them are bordering on the edge of being completely delusional. My husband on the other hand laughed his way through the entire list… and is currently outside having his dinner in the dog kennel.

The Man Rules

(Please note, these are all numbered “1” on purpose, my finger did not go into a spasm over that particular key…)

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do.Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say WHATEVER you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” We will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, Expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine… Really .

1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.

If you know of a man who will appreciate this then please forward on the link!

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2 thoughts on “For those from the planet Mars

  1. Yes not to worry, it’s a very roomy kennel with a blanket, pillow and selection of chew toys! There will be ample space for you both as the dog actually sleeps on the end of my daughter’s bed at night..

    My husband seems to have had a good night’s sleep, though he was scratching a bit this morning….

    I am sure your wife will appreciate the rules for the ladies and the 2 species, sorry genders, will have to agree to disagree!!

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