Top 10 Resolutions to break

Good grief, it’s 2011. Where did that year spring from all of a sudden and what on earth happened to the last 10? It’s like you’ve taken your eye off the clock for a few minutes and a whole decade has slipped by.

One minute it’s July and you’re muttering that half the year has already gone. Then suddenly it’s October, you’re knee-deep in pumpkins and moaning that the tinsel and fake trees are already out in the shops for sale. And then, all of a sudden, you take your head out of the fridge, glance up from the TV guide and find that Christmas is over and a whole New Year has already begun.

It’s all slightly alarming really and not helped by the rather bizarre week you’ve just had, where everyday felt like Sunday, you found yourself eating leftovers non-stop and then, to top it all off, you missed putting the bin out by a day.

So this time of year can only mean one thing – New Year’s resolutions. Those completely meaningless goals you set yourself when you’re riddled with guilt and feeling that diet and total detox are the only sure-fire way to recover from all that festive boozing and bingeing. Of course few people ever stick to their resolutions past the second week in January, and by February, most can barely even remember what they swore to uphold.

At the top of most resolution lists comes the ever-popular Stop Smoking, along with the Get Fit, Lose Weight and Give Up Drinking. These are often followed by the slightly trickier to achieve Get out of Debt and Change Jobs. Both of these do of course require more than just a steely resolve, but would be far more attainable if you were then able to stick to the next – Get Organised.

Next on the well-used resolutions list comes Enjoy Life, Try Something New and Spend More Time With The Family. All very admirable indeed, but perhaps more plausible if then followed up with Manage to Keep At Least One Of My Resolutions.

Yes, I’m pretty sure that over the years I’ve set myself all of these goals. Well except for the smoking that is. Get Fit and Lose Weight are always something of a given in early January. They follow the several weeks of eating like a complete and utter pig and consuming more than my body weight in turkey, cheese and chocolate.

But at least this year I’m not about to make that age-old gym membership mistake that I made last year. And the year before. You know the one.

When getting to grips with Get Fit and Lose Weight, many people (like myself) make the mistake of rushing out and joining their local gym on a spur of the moment, guilt-induced whim. Then, once they’ve barely survived the ‘free’ induction training session and limped their sorry way through the first full week, the reality of exercise actually sinks in. Their shiny white trainers, gym bag and stretch Lycra ensemble then swiftly go back into the cupboard and languish there for another year collecting dust.

So then, not only have you set yourself up for a year feeling like you should be making more of an effort, you also have to watch the money fly out of your bank account each month. You can of course convince yourself that you’ll be more inclined to get sweaty on a gym ball once the temperatures have risen and the sun comes out, but it’s simply not true.

The sad fact of the matter is that you’ll now be forking out fees simply for the privilege of feeling guilty every time you happen to glance at a Custard Cream. And, if you make the same silly mistake every year, over the course of a lifetime (with an average annual gym membership costing £372) you could well be wasting close to £17,500 of your hard-earned money to fund the latest exercise equipment. Equipment that you’ll never even use. Or see for that matter. How bloody depressing is that.

This year I don’t think I can actually be bothered to make any resolutions. Quite frankly I can well do without putting any more pressure on myself to achieve something that I probably won’t. With one possible exception that is..

Being someone who has given her liver something of a breather in the last decade, I reckon I really should make more of an effort to take up drinking in 2011. In a far more carefully controlled, non-bingeing way than in my 20’s of course. I don’t think I could handle (or afford the quantities) I consumed back then, and I definitely couldn’t face a 4-year old’s hand tapping on my face in the early hours of the morning while dealing with a mid 30’s hangover from hell.

Taken in part from blog written for Treehouse Life.


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